NOTE VERY TRIGGERING/SCARY so read with caution*******
At one of my last doctor appointments I had a person go in with me that I love and well used to trust a lot more. Then that said person decided to start telling my story to the doctor when I did not really want it to be said because sometimes I think it can greatly affect the doctors judgement unfortunately because many doctors are uneducated. Well I started answering some questions that the doctor had about when everything happened, how long it occurred. Then the doctor started to ask some pretty graphic details that were in NO WAY RELEVANT TO MY MEDICAL TREATMENT. HE wanted to know if a certain thing that happened (I was strangled) was a sexual thing like a turn on or another thing. He wanted to know waaaaaaaaay to many specific details. Looking back now it kind of reminds me of the perps that come into the chat rooms to get off on our stories and stuff you know that Angela talks about?? Anyways he "then was like well why didn't you tell anyone? And kept pressing and pressing that. I told him in a calm tone like I talk when I "counsel"(but I do not counsel ppl I just am a friend) people that I could not. He kepted pressing wanting to know more. Then I finally said. "I am not going to say anything else as I don't see the relevance of this and my medical disability." He continued to push and said "Well maybe next time you will feel more comfortable and share more.
Share more my ass! You are NOT in the mental health field. And guess what everyone. I talked to my psychologist today and he has heard about this doctor before and this is not the first time something like this has happened. Now my friend thinks that the doctor is great and wants me to go back and doesn't even want to speak of the subject which is really hard for me, but after my psychologist is like "hum NO" I think its best that I not go back to that doctor. What I want to know is there anything legally wrong with what he did???????? Anyways I have an appointment with that same facility tomorrow morning and I am SOOOO not looking forward to it but my pain is so great that I am going just to see what the other person in the facility can do. My psychologist has already given me a new name for a great new doctor so I hope they have room for me and can also treat my pain. Moving on now
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So how are we going to deal with this? First off we must gather all the tools we can to control our panic. No matter if we are going to a great doctor or a crappy one we are going to need our tool set in order to get what we want out of the appointment. We are all Angels here so we can do that!!
Yes it does sound scary building a tool kit.... wrenches, pliers, hammers, nails, maybe even some super glue when all else fails but all you have to remember is you just collect one piece at a time. Simple as that. Once you have a tool you have it forever.
Some examples of tools that I have are as follows; Angela Shelton's tapping techniques (see Tapping in this blog), music, positive imagery, art, breathing techniques, fellow survivor friends, journaling, medications,healthcare professionals, friends, the art of preparing and sooo much more. Don't worry, your tool box will always be big enough to hold all the tools you collect, its awesome like that ;)
Now what we do when we go to these big bad soon to be much easier doctor appointments is we pull out tools that we can use in these specific situations. Let me give you an example.....
Well before setting up an appointment with a doctor.....
1. Ask your friends for a reference(tool: ......friends- they might know better who would be a better fit for you?)
2. Ask other healthcare professionals for a reference(tool:...... healthcare professionals- they usually know who is good and who is not in the area and if they know you well enough might be able to match your personality traits if you ask for that)
The night before a doctors appointment.....
1. I gather all of my medical records (tool used: the art of preparing.... reduces anxiety)
2. I write down on a piece of paper things I want to cover in this doctors appointment or I am worried about (I have a paper already made that says what I am worried about, signs and symptoms, what happened at the last visit, things I want to talk about, what actually happened at the visit, what I want to talk about next time) (tool used: again the art of preparing..... reducing anxiety
3. I leave all of this stuff in a folder or notebook out so I know exactly where it is for the next day(tool: the art of preparing.... reducing anxiety)
*4. If I don't know where the doctors office is I search for directions and include that in the notebook/folder (tool:the art of preparing... reducing anxiety)
Day of appointment
1. Grab your premade folder(tool: the art of preparing)
2. If you like music play some music on your way there or I love to bring some head phones and listen to my favorite music in the waiting room which is I think the worst part (tool:........ music- distraction!!!!)
3. In the appointment use your piece of paper talking about everything you want to cover/ that is concerning you. If you choke up you can even hand that piece of paper to the doctor and they can read it if you so choose. I've done that! (tool: the art of preparing)
4. If you are prescribed medications take them (as directed) For example I have a prescription for xanax, so I take it when I need it, which many times is a doctors appointment. Again only take as directed by your prescribing doctor. I am not a doctor. (tool:......... medication)
5. After the appointment when you get home (anytime) feel free to process in a journal or in art how you feel about what happened in the appointment. (tool: ..............journaling & art- reduces stress levels
6. Feel free to also take a bath with sea salts. I sell my own special "Milk, Oat and Honey Sea Salts" because I love it so much!(tool............. so much more you can do!)
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