Angela Shelton Foundation Hour 3

Angela Shelton Foundation Month Long Blog-a-thon


Title: I'm more than good enough!
Post photography by: Steven Shires | Pixel Pro Shop


Please donate $ to the Angela Shelton Foundation if you get anything from this or any of my other articles this month-July 10th! Thank you. Click here to donate! To see Angela Shelton's private website click here.


Dear survivor of;


(The not so pleasant things)

• 1. The western's world pressure on women to be thin and beautiful, and sexy 24-7
• 2. Physical disabilities
• 3. Emotional disorders (most caused by something listed later or society)
• 4. Graduating from a semi-broken University
• 5. Having family (a wonderful one though) that lacked emotional output as in hugs frequently
• 6. Learning disabilities that were never tested and treated until I requested it in college after my difficult math course because I could tell no one was having as much difficultly as me and I was also flipping numbers. Also my professor said that I might have a LD so I should get tested and be extra careful on exams esp. until then :p. I was only able to be tested after that course was over and I was at least 1+ standard deviations away from my IQ! 112-124?= IQ while Math= 75 which is or one point away from MR! 
• 7. Being in an abusive relationship for too long. It wasn't even that long but then their was the aftermath. 
• 8. In this abusive relationship, the physical abuse
• 9. In this abusive relationship, the emotional abuse like I am stupid when he was the stupid one 
• 10. In this abusive relationship, the still hard to even type sexual abuse and r word, rape. I said it. good for me! 

The point here is I SURVIVED IT AND...

(Pleasant things..)

• 1. I am actually pretty
• 2. I am not "fat"
• 3. Someone in the world cares or is affected by something I do
• 4. I am loved... I am loved... I am loved (creating new neuro pathways hehe ;D)
• 5. I love that I have a family that cares a lot about me
• 6. I am an Artist
• 7. I love having my sever chronic pain managed somewhat for the moment
• 8. I love having a partner/ significant other/bf that cares a lot about me
• 9. I love my ability to connect with animals
• 10. I love that I know I have LIGHT inside me that will never ever go away, that will always be there even if I don't feel it, that I can always work to rekindle my light, and help others find their light that they have that also will never go away even if they think they have never felt it before.
• 11. I enjoy friendships even when I feel horrible for not having enough time for them. 
• 12. I love horseback riding and the feeling of connection between myself and the horse. Also the independence and freedom once in the saddle. <3
• 13. I love Mother Earth
• 14. I love that I know I have already LOVED much not mention and I love that I know that I will LOVE MUCH MORE!

      That is the past, I have faced it head on, eye to eye, heart to heart. I've dived deep down into my past's soul and come out not just SURVIVING but THRIVING.        ~YES THRIVING!!!!!

      This achievement in my life that I once felt was a personal disaster happened due to the following people and organizations in order by date: My boy friend, my (good) counselors, my University's women's center, TBTN, The Clothesline Project, Angela Shelton, some of my Professors, The Glass Breaking Project, Army of Angels, and all the other survivors through A.S. and other places. Thank you and others that I did not mention for specific reasons. You have changed a life. I have finally given up somethings that I thought were right if a person tells you so. (ie. Your stupid- from my Abuser). Well I am now free from that, I am "me", whom ever I wish to be! And I am a smart beautiful person ~Sydney Smith

      Consequently now I'm on the search of who I am and want to be now that I am not Stupid, fat and ugly! I'm so excited! I know it won't be easy but I pray I have gone threw the hardest part. I posted this photograph by Steven Shires that he made for AUU. I think this is very representative of what this process is. I'm just trying to climb one mountain at a time..... it should be easier that way and should not be so daunting looking at one compared to the range. Thank you Steven! If anyone would like a print of this photo you can either contact Steven Shires yourself at the website that I have linked in this post or on my coffee lounge. I think it would be nice to have in an office don't you think?!

2am....

Yes its after 2 am and I feel like that song by Anna Nalick. I'm working very late even if I did just get up from a 3 hour nap. My health has been really bad this and last week. One of my many doctors told me to go to the ER today/tonight really, but I so did not want to go so I didn't. I don't think my S.O. wants to or even should have to deal with this anymore. Once I get through this week things will get much easier.But I can't rust this week or I'll run around even more like a chicken with my head cut off lol. 


To myself as I tell often to others: " Take a deep breath, hold it, and someone, somewhere will believe me and understand as I do of others. 


Dear Angela Shelton and all of the AOA and followers: Thank you for supporting me all. You all  have kepted me going when it seemed to get to tuff! :) :) :)


PS. IF ANYONE KNOWS HOW TO DRILL A HOLE IN A USA COIN PLEASE LET ME KNOW!


Finally I will be putting together a Service Dog website someday for the SD (SD- service dog that I am going to get) I can not use Firstgiving bc its only for organizations etc but I'm not giving up hope because I had a week with my own dog as one in training and my life was completely different (for the better) but my dog failed out of the course lol. 

* Photo of me in Utah on the search for wild indiginous animals, but I ended up taking much more way than that

The Glass Breaking Project & a SD

The Glass Breaking Project has a new website: click here. I personally know one of the two creators of this project and have participated and I LOVE IT! so go....click! check it out!

The Glass Breaking Project was founded by Jessica Buchanan and Medallio Green, students of Shenandoah University.

Medallio Greed is a senior Business Major minoring in Political Science. 

Jessica Buchanan is a senior Psychology minoring in History and Women’s Studies.

Medallio and Jessica were challenged by their Women’s Studies professor, Dr. Amy Sarch, to come up with an inspirational way to help people release anger and raise awareness about the silence that surrounds violence.  They came up with The Glass Breaking Project in 2008 and are currently hosting their 3rd annual Glass Breaking event at Shenandoah University in 2010 and taking the project to schools across the country.  The Glass Breaking Project is soon to be a non-profit organization headed by Jessica and Medallio.

 The Glass Breaking Project’s Mission:
• To promote a healthy outlet of anger for people that does not promote hurting others around
• To stop violent acts towards others such as domestic violence, verbal abuse, rape, and molestation by raising awareness of how often these acts occur
• To shorten the statistic of every women/man that is raped, domestically beaten, or verbally abused daily.
• To raise money through donations and use that money to raise awareness about our cause
• To create a healthy environment for people to come together with their stories to share or keep remembered
• To make all aware of the violence in the world and for everyone to unite and take a stand against it

______________________________________________

My Pending Service Dog

      On another note, I just found out that it will cost me $12,000. to get a service dog trained (that is not including the price of the dog from the breeder that specializes in SD). So I'm really sad about that because my doctor really wants me to get one and the trainer honestly believes that I could really benefit from a SD. But I see no way to get that kind of money. Its crazy. So yeah. sad face. I really expect the full price to be about $16,000. But if it was only $12,000 (again without the purchase of the dog) I would have to get at least 24 different companies to donate $500.00 to reach the estimated training costs. I so want it to work as it will change my life forever for more than better. It will give my life back. More than that. So If anyone knows any businesses that they would recommend or would like to ask on my behalf if I give information I would greatly appreciate it. My trainer has a blog where she and I will up date and take pictures etc of my SD (service dog)  as it is trained (which takes a year) and watch us grow. I think I would also continue to update the blog after my dog is perminately placed with me. I would do this for anyone who would donate/ sponsor so they could check the progress and amazing help that their donation/ sponsorship will do for me. My trainer said I would be a poster child for people who would benefit from service dogs. 


      I was so happy that she truly understood what a service dog can do for a person on all levels. This gave me hope. Much more hope than from any other SD organization before this one. I hope my hope will not fall only due to money. I know many hopes in the world fall to this, but this is my life. I need help with my activities of daily living. I just want my life back. :( If it was only easier, if I wasn't alone in this. 


So have you checked out the Glass Breaking Project yet??!!! ;)