Dear Survivors, Shit to poo its all good

I've noticed again many of you/us have hit another rough patch. It is either a pile of horse crap, (although I do love horses!) or a new pot hole that came out of no where on the highway and you were going 90. Well, bless you Angels. Bless you for all the crap you've been through and all the shit you will go through in the future. Bless you for the power you have obtained by having noses that are much more hard core than the average person and only typically take notice to the herd of skunks that just had a brazilian wax job in front of your nose. You are a warrior with your experience, knowledge and life skills. I've seen you take the horse shit and make it into a beautiful sculpture, then when cold light it for fire, then when it rains use it to help seal the shelter. I've finally come to realize that yes, shit might not shine, but it does have its purpose as poop. You ladies have figured out the 101 ways to use it and be beautiful people at the same time. I love you for that. Thank you for inspiring me to live on in this life with ever raining shit that I've learned to love and call poo.

If you enjoy my posts consider donating to the cause that saved me: http://www.firstgiving.com/sydneysmithaoa

Bead site..... I'm really beading now...but I haven't looked into this one yet

I wonder what this is like... found it for a second on FB when I got distracted.

Two great inspirations (beadsite) http://www.rings-things.com/blog/2010/04/13/two-great-inspirations/




Side note:decent pain in my upper right hand abdomin I think I ate something I'm allergic too

2am....

Yes its after 2 am and I feel like that song by Anna Nalick. I'm working very late even if I did just get up from a 3 hour nap. My health has been really bad this and last week. One of my many doctors told me to go to the ER today/tonight really, but I so did not want to go so I didn't. I don't think my S.O. wants to or even should have to deal with this anymore. Once I get through this week things will get much easier.But I can't rust this week or I'll run around even more like a chicken with my head cut off lol. 


To myself as I tell often to others: " Take a deep breath, hold it, and someone, somewhere will believe me and understand as I do of others. 


Dear Angela Shelton and all of the AOA and followers: Thank you for supporting me all. You all  have kepted me going when it seemed to get to tuff! :) :) :)


PS. IF ANYONE KNOWS HOW TO DRILL A HOLE IN A USA COIN PLEASE LET ME KNOW!


Finally I will be putting together a Service Dog website someday for the SD (SD- service dog that I am going to get) I can not use Firstgiving bc its only for organizations etc but I'm not giving up hope because I had a week with my own dog as one in training and my life was completely different (for the better) but my dog failed out of the course lol. 

* Photo of me in Utah on the search for wild indiginous animals, but I ended up taking much more way than that

*spoiler aleart* to a new post

I just got back from the ER again, things went much better this time. Not as much as I would have preferred,  but the experience was MUCH better then the last one.

Next is that I set up an appointment with a new pain doctor.

After this my significant other got mad that he had to take time out of this schedule and pick me up from the hospital. As I had to drive myself bc when it is there he usually makes it worse and is just speedy gonzolaz trying to get home.

And Lastly I had a great easter egg hunt with my s.o.'s family. And again found many 4 leaf and even a 5, and a 6 leaf clover! So I now probably have about #600 collected/ picked. 

Over coming my fear of guns

I do not promote the use of guns except solely for recreational use on a certified range with all safety precautions. This is me getting over my fear of guns.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IpGraiQ7h8&feature=youtu.be ( video w/o sides cut off)

I'm glad I don't feel this way anymore- I've moved on to hope

This post is from an old blog I had. I am thankful I do not feel this way anymore. At least it has not come up for me in many months. I am very very thankful for this. But I do feel that it is important to share this because it shows where I've come from, to compare to were I am now. The change, and the beauty in that. Now I have power and light that is more easily accessible to me. That brings me much joy.

"Never Believed

How can I ever trust if I am never believed? Why and where should I go with this? I feel like an idiot. Like a puppy dog that follows its abusive owner around and loves it unconditionally not knowing that it will soon beat the shit out of it. I am that puppy. I fall into trusting people, then in time, I get the shit beatten out of me from the misuse of my trust in them. I'm tired of being used and abused. I don't want to be the sweet puppy anymore. Its just not safe even if it is in my nature to be kind and all trusting giving people the benefit of doubt. I've just been burned every single time. Every time. So really, how can one trust anyone in this treppid world? Are we just supposed to go cold as stone and never let anyone in as I now dare to be, or rather open ourselves up for being abused time and time again? Do I have to choose between the lesser of two evils? I must still be a little girl inside, begging for a world full of goodness. Such a lie, the wool was pulled over my eyes and stitched down in hopes of protection only to hurt me in the end."

Going Shooting today!

Guess what?! I'm going shooting today and I'm very excited about it. It is a beautiful day here so right now I am broadcasting LIVE from my backyard :) I'm going to a range to get over my fears of guns and learn how to use them safely.

____

After shooting

I had a great time. I feel much more comfortable with a gun. I know how to disarm a gun, I know how to properly handle one, and my fear has been significantly reduced. This makes me so happy because again its a part of my path of healing. But on a fun note I did very well too! If someone makes a donation to my fund raiser for the Angela Shelton Foundation by the end of tomorrow I will post my targets! Trust me one of them is really funny. You can donate money to the foundation by clicking on the link on the right.

I hope you all are doing well on your journey. :huggles:

Angela Shelton: The Runaway Bunny

Just for the audio since the video is not working. So cute!