a tweet of mine

"When growing in life their are speed bumps, it's just a matter of hitting them at the right speed and not breaking your car"

An old Poem

Speech for TBTN

Right now I'm working on my speech for TBTN. I took my vicodin because I'm in so much pain and it seems to be helping me a lot which is nice. I can think now which is great but then I'm mistyping a lot more now :p. Anyways I'm a little unsure of how to go about this speech. I know that they probably want to know my story, but what else are they exactly looking for? I have a lot to offer, its just a matter of getting it down. I can "say" some great stuff in my head when I'm not doubled over in pain. but again its getting from my head to the paper. I've tried Angela Shelton's recommendation of mind mapping for my book and for this speech, but just a second ago I did pretty well without a map. I just pictured myself actually at the event, with everyone there and just went with that. Though I did not go into my story. That is still one of the hardest things for me to do. Yes, I've shared my story many times, but not all at once and in great great detail. I make it more like a grocery list, like yes he did this this and this to me with no emotion attached. Like I need eggs, milk and bread. That is what a therapist told me once (that it was like a shopping list). But I do know how to connect with survivors because I do it all the time, and unfortunately, I don't have enough time to do it so some people feel horrible when I have to not talk to them as frequently as I did when they first came to me as a friend ( which is all I am - I am no professional). But I am trying to spread myself around so I can help everyone. That is why I kind of have stopped one on one and moved more to just blogging. Anyways that was a tangent. Yes, I feel uneasy and super excited about my speaking engagement along side Kim Lee Smith and Angela Shelton this Spring. I just hope I can pull it all together and deliver it well.

I know I will be talking about my theory on light and how everyone is born with it and how it never goes away. See my light post by clicking on light under lables. And I also want to talk about going from survivor to thriver, but I also want to acknowledge the truth of the hardships we have and still will go through, but how we have and still will come out stronger because of it.

Now what?

So I feel like I've taken that step from trauma world to joy jet. But it all still feels a little weird to me. After living in trauma world for over 7 years I guess it is very understandable to be a little shaken by the move but I'm so happy at the same time. It just feels so good. I don't feel like I HAVE too face it every day. Any thing I do is my choice, and I can focus my efforts on helping others instead of myself. But I am a little scared of this new world. Ever since I was little I never wanted to try anything new because I didn't know how it would turn out even if I thought it would be better. I was comforted by consistency and knowledge of what was to come. Though I know I am a stronger woman now and I CAN do this because so many other great women have done this and have inspired me to do so, so I must. Not only for myself, but for all the other women that follow in my foot steps.

Thank you to all the women(and some men!) who have inspired me

Teen Dating Abuse....

Old video - Breathing tech.

Having anxiety? Lets breathe together...

Old Nightmare help out video

Having a nightmare? This might be useful...

Speaking Engagement!

I am happy to announce my first speaking engagement! It is on the East Coast and I will be on the stage along with Kim Lee Smith, and Angela Shelton! I can not wait for spring! It is at a TBTN event at on a college campus. Woot!!! I must practice practice practice! I will try to record it for you all